it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
