as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
