no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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