Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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