i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if only i could text you this smell
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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