? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
