So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
