So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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