You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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