Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
