So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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