Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
