when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
