So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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