I wish my penis had an off switch
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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