I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
