i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
