I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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