Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
