worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
