your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
