Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
