I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
