I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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