I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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