Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
