why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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