the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize