when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
