Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
