you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
