Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize