I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
no you cant smoke seaweed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize