I love black thongs
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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