The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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