I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
