we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
