I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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