But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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