There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
