its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
