rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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