i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
