Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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