Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
