Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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