like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
