Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize