There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize