Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
