It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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