I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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