Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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