I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
