this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
