We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize