im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
