It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
