okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize