4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
