belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
