I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
