I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My penis needs a shock collar
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
