Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
