Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
