so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
