My Higher Power is John Stamos
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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